The art of Dating in gulf countries...

Happy New Year 2015 guys!

I've been so long gone that probably you tought I abandoned this blog that seems many people read but not many people follow !!

We all know that meeting good decent people is difficult everywhere, however here in Middle East I had strange experiences...
Some time back my friend and colleague Zaina Brown (the writer of "Stories of a travelling belly dancer".) post on her blog an article about  that evil message box in Facebook named "Others" in which some guys declare their love and desires to beautiful girls requesting them "be friends" in Facebook.

Even moooore time back I was via telephone on a very popular radio show in Mexico, it is host by Martha Debayle  in which she will call people of her audience that live outside Mexico to share their experiences... so, ME been in Dubai, and follower of her show I was selected. I remember she asked me about how arabs make their first approach to a girl, since I didn't date much in UAE I was kind of speachless to her questions and here is why:

UAE is a multicultural society; from Indians, pakistanis, philipinos  to all the other arab countries, plus a good number of western society is living here.
 It may seem that there's many fishes in the sea to choose from, but the reality is that the concept of "dating" or "meeting new people" is so different for each culture, soo the difficulty start when a pakistani wanna meet a brazilian, or an egyptian wanna date a german... mixing is good don't take me wrong! but how to start to meet the possible candidate? The problem is,  each one have their own way of : "Hey! haaaaave you met Ted???as Barney in "how I met your mother" show used to hook Ted with a girl.

Approaching # 1
Good old Facebook in "others" inbox

Approaching # 2
Via Whatsapp... yeah! How they get your number in  first place? it is a mistery., sometimes I think they just randomly dial a number and if the profile pic results to be a lady, they go ahead with  a: "Hey sexy! how are u?" and if you don't reply he goes: "Why you don't answer? "  any normal guy will understand after 1 or 2 days of cero replies that the lady is not interested...But hope dies last isn't?

Approaching # 3
Being a western woman with an "open mentality" is not always so good in conservative countries, some guys literally think you will take the chance to be with any male specimen, cause hey! you are western...yeahhh decency is a little bit distracted in that part of the world (or so they think).

Approaching # 4
Being a western single lady as I already said, isn't easy, but being also a Belly dancer is a plus! the misconception and misinformation of the profession lead guys (thankfully not all) to think we are some sort of libertines and are available for nightstands.
The first time I arrive to UAE, I went to a supermarket and the cashier noticed I bought many belly dance DVD's, he asked why I was buying them, so me, proudly ( as I've been doing it in my natal Mexico) said:"Cause I'm a belly dancer" his immediate response was:
"ohh can I have your number? ".

Approaching # 5
After 10 years in gulf countries I noticed there's 2 worlds: The western world, which is the people you make friends with, people from your  country and other countries with more or less same view in life as you., you will find some oriental and asian people as well, normally will be people who travel a lot or had studied abroad their native countries.
And then there's the arabic world: shisha places, restaurants with belly dancers and  arabic singers, arabian nightclubs and some bars that are frequented by arabian people.

In the first world, is more likely you will find someone to date, however most of the single people come to the gulf for a short period of time due to work, so they don't wanna be involve in a serious relationship  for 1 or 2 months and then comeback to their countries (although there's exceptions).

In the second world, there's many so called " business ladies"and the sad part is, some guys with very poor social skills will pop a question like: "¿How much?" which is totally offensive for any woman... the reply will be normally to ignore the poor fellow.
So with this premise, to make yourself respect among arabic people is not something to take lightly, and when you gain your respect and show you're a person of good moral values then you will be able to date.


As I said: To date in gulf countries is certainly an art.....



  

In response to Randa Jarrar "Why I can't stand white belly dancers"

I took the time to read this article that I found these past days. With it I found that this controversial essay had started a massive response from the belly dance enthusiasts all over the world, whome were seriously offended by it as can be noted by remarks like calling the autor racist and even more offensive adjectives. These remarks honestly do not help the situation or contribute  to anything.

After Reading this post, I even read the 2nd part “I STILL can’t stand White belly dancers”

After some reflection I try to place myself in the shoes of this lady: As  a Mexican I hate that someone state that “nachos” is a food instead of a snack, that “all mexicans have huge hats and long mustaches”, I hate that people give us the stereotype of lazy, bean-eaters and drug dealers... I think the author’s posts are not really about the dance itself but the stereotype of what an “arab” should be or look like. Unfortunatly for her she took an example (the belly dance) that doesn’t fit to her complains.

As someone responded to her before: “She seems to be a victim of racism in USA”, a target for arab jokes and have  been frequently asked –“OH! you are Egyptian? Do you belly dance? “ I really understand her, but that is no excuse to pour her anger over performers of raqs sharki.

Dear Randa, you mentioned great dancers such as Taheya Carioca and Fifi Abdo. When referring to these dancers, you are referring to the golden era of bellydancing, when it was seen by arabs as a “respectful art”. Could you give me the name of an Arab bellydancer nowadays, as famous as these amazing artists of the past? I’m sure you can’t, but I can mention to you Randa Kamel, an amazing egyptian dancer, not famous among arab people but certanly famous amongst the  “White BD sisterhood” as you call it. Do you know that Taheya got the name “Carioca” because she added some Brasilian flavours to her dance rountines? Carioca is the name given to the native people of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. Fifi Abdo remains in the market thanks to the bellydancers around the world who want to learn from this fantastic dancer. Another good example is Samia Gamal who took dancing lessons from a russian classical ballet dancer.

I would also like to know to whom you refer when you mention “white” bellydancers? Do you refer to Europeans, Asians, Latins?  Or perhaps any lady who doesn’t have an arab origin? Through study and research of the history of bellydancing we could gather that most probably raqs sharki have it`s real origin from the turkish slaves, which means it is not totally arabic in origin, although yes, it is true that the real development of it was in Egypt.

I’ve been into belly dance for 17 years already, from those I’ve been living in Arab countries for ten years. And here is the thing, hotels and restaurants prefer non Arab belly dancers over Arabic ones. Why is that? As I mentioned before, the connotation of being a dancer nowadays isn’t good. There`s no celebration in which a bellydancer is not hired to give a show. People love to have a dancer at their wedding, birthday etc, but would you like to have a bellydancer in your family? Most probably NOT..This space , left by Arabic girls in the industry, will then surely be filled by other candidates, as it so happens to be : Western/White bellydancers.

As in all professions, there will good and mediocre people, I guess a girl that dress in genie pants, heavy make up and a few coins cannot be called a “profesional bellydancer”. She may be a student or go to a costume party, cause belly dance is a discipline and like any other form of dance,  need training and dedication to understand the music, the beats and feelings expressed in the songs. This takes time especially for a non arab girl, however (here I want to be very clear) to be born in an Arab country and grow up listening to Warda and Om Khalthoum doesn’t make you a PROFESSIONAL dancer, it will give you the feeling yes!, but surely wont guarantee you have the moves! As I said before, to be pro is a discipline. With all respect, you can dance with all your friends and family and have fun but that doesn’t make you profesional or a knowledgeable judge of the trade. You may appreciate a good dancer from a mediocre one, but your judgment will be ruled by your personal taste and not from a technical point of view. Its the same as to decide, who’s ugly or beautiful in our eyes, which obviously differ from person to person.

White girls, or better say “western girls”  will keep dancing! I’m sorry if you have encountered girls that were not performing good enough, anyhow on behalf of the belly dance community I’ve seen outstanding western as well as arab belly dancers. Each one add something new and revolutionary to the art, you don’t have to carry us on your back, we are a strong enough to stand on our own feet.

If you haven't read the post here is the link:http://www.salon.com/2014/03/04/why_i_cant_stand_white_belly_dancers/

On the road....

It happens to me many times that, I'm so used to my life style that I found eveything normal, and I think that is "uneventful" when actually I have a non very standard life.... I'm typing this article from iphone, seating in a van with my hundred bags, waiting for the driver to grab a chicken sandwich and a coke, before continue our journey to my next contract in Abu Dhabi.

I've been living this every one or two months when usually the contracts change from  singers and dancers in the places here in UAE, the last working day is always a total mess up, acumulating many things during years of working here, I came the very first time to Emirates with 2 bags, now i have many more, and still I have no place to put all my stuff, among, dresses,shoes,belly dance dresses,sword,wings,canes and even kitchen stuff i have to put what cannot fit in my bags in carton boxes and plastic bags...I'm not alone in my pain, all my fellow dancers experience the same,and even more, to deal with papers, visas and permitions of each place and don't have a clear picture of rules of each country literally leaves our lives in the hands of HR hotels department.

We are the modern beduins of the arabian desert of Dubai, the modern ghawazee travelling from place to place to perform, give our best, make our income monthly, pack again till the next destination. 

❤️with love to all my belly friends in middle east!! 

    (Here Maher the singer with whom I will colaborate in my next contract... On the road to Abu Dhabi)

The notion of "Tarab"

From the book: "La cultura de los árabes" (The arabian culture) 
Author: Ikram Antaki 1988
Summary and translation by: Amar Lammar


The orchestra is not an arab tradition, but is the concept to be used to understand the arab music as
this exist to support the major art: The word.The concepts of "music" and "song" were not enough.
Then born a new word that doesn't have translation in any other language TARAB.
Tarab as in the dictionary: Rapture, ecstasy, pleasure of the senses.The whole concept is the absolute pleasure that only the melody can give you.

There's no tarab if the voice isn't beautiful, but also is not tarab if the poem sung is not beautiful as well and sung masterfully in a classical arabic and not in a popular arabic dialect.

To be consider beautiful, a voice must be powerful. Then such a clear voice as the one from the singer Fairuz will be consider by the experts of classical arabic music as a "cat's meow" while a voice that was able to last with out fault for half century, like Um Khaltoum voice, gets around it the unanimously recognition.

Um Khaltoum was known as "The lady of the arabian song" and "The star of the east", she was one of the most venerated singers, was the singer of King Faruk and then the favourite of Nasser and one of the most beloved of "Al Wafd" party.

Some journalists called her: "The singer of the hachachin" cause it's been said that she used to inhale
drugs on the huge handkerchief she wore in her recitals in order to sing for over two hours non stop.
 Do not like of Um Khaltoum was symbol of anti-arab or dislike arabs.

The first belly dancer to perform on a Um Khalthoum song was Sohair Zaki, it was a big challenge but the president Mohamed Anwar named her : "the Um Khalthom of the dance".



 

Amar Lammar & Walid Tawfiq

After been away from my blog for few weeks I'm back !!!!!

Lets start this amazing 2014 with a nice pic of Walid Tawfiq who came to the restaurant where I was performing in Dubai as a guest...I really enjoy dancing for him, and he thought I was an arabic girl which I found great,as I hope my dance is fusions but sometimes I enjoy to be sharki as well.
He was very polite and didn't mind to make a pic with the sweaty belly dancer hehe...

Your style, my style.....

                              

                             

The word style comes form the latin "Stilus" and it's use in many ways  for diverse occasions; life, fashion, artistic eras, elegance or distiction among others.

In the dance scenery there are many styles, from the ancient ritual dances, to the refinement of Ballet, or the folkloric dances of each country which is a picture in motion of their legacy to the world, it represents the traditions of each culture in this planet, that's why dance is so important! .Each type of dance it's been evolving with time and their performers have found different paths to enrich it and even create a new style or tendency into the dance itself.

Belly dance hasn't left behind in this modern world....the dancing style of the actual performers is not as it used to be,. in this globalized society, BD became very popular in all countries, each country add some special flavour to the raqs sharki, I'm quite sure that nowadays we are more non-arab dancers than arabic origin belly dancers, this is the reason why now we can see such big western influence into belly dance.

                    

                              (On the top, Dina one of the most imitated belly dancers on the world)

However as technology advance and comunicate from one country to the other far away from yours it's fair easy nowadays, tools like youtube, bellydancers.tv, vimeo or facebook are our main plataform to expose our work and get work, but also is an endless source of ideas and sometimes clones.

                                        
                                     
Which are the boundaries to take inspiration of another fellow dancer? Is it right that you admire so much a dancer that you copy all her style???. I have always believed that even you may be an exact copy of your idol, each one is unique and bring into the belly dance something fresh, in my country there's a saying: "Who hit first, hit twice" meaning that the person who made something first than anyone else will have a high impact than a person who made it again later on., this may be true, but what happens when you do it in another place where it's a novelty? Will you show it up as yours or would you inform your audience this is a representation of someone else's work??...

I pop this questions to dancers around the world, to share our opinions, to make our belly dance community much more genuine...the biggest challenge for a BD teacher is not only to give technique of movements and theory but to create a new generation of dancers that are able to use this knowledge and add their personal charisma to the dance, and this, is the most dificult thing to achieve, cause it's much more easy to click on youtube than sit in an empty space thinking about a step not yet created.

Warda - loula el malama

I guess is pointless to speak about who wonderful voice and amazing tunes you can find in warda's songs.
I choose this song cause when got to hear it first time, I didn't found it as nice as others, I didn't have feelings for the song itself, and it didn't provoke me any sort of special move in the melody.
This totally change after I came to know the lyrics and the profound meaning of them.
Thanks to a dear friend, now I can enjoy this song like never before and wanna share it with you!!
Here it goes, enjoy!

If there's no blame in the air
I will spread my wings and fly.
I will scape from the world and stop this bad life.
Stop blaming me, Imagine how will be the life without been afraid of the blame.

They asked me many times about you:-¿Do you love him?- (She answers) Yes, yes,yes
Why I have to denied?

They look at me as if they are blaming me, they told me bad words, all this because I love him
all this because I was in love.