The art of Dating in gulf countries...

Happy New Year 2015 guys!

I've been so long gone that probably you tought I abandoned this blog that seems many people read but not many people follow !!

We all know that meeting good decent people is difficult everywhere, however here in Middle East I had strange experiences...
Some time back my friend and colleague Zaina Brown (the writer of "Stories of a travelling belly dancer".) post on her blog an article about  that evil message box in Facebook named "Others" in which some guys declare their love and desires to beautiful girls requesting them "be friends" in Facebook.

Even moooore time back I was via telephone on a very popular radio show in Mexico, it is host by Martha Debayle  in which she will call people of her audience that live outside Mexico to share their experiences... so, ME been in Dubai, and follower of her show I was selected. I remember she asked me about how arabs make their first approach to a girl, since I didn't date much in UAE I was kind of speachless to her questions and here is why:

UAE is a multicultural society; from Indians, pakistanis, philipinos  to all the other arab countries, plus a good number of western society is living here.
 It may seem that there's many fishes in the sea to choose from, but the reality is that the concept of "dating" or "meeting new people" is so different for each culture, soo the difficulty start when a pakistani wanna meet a brazilian, or an egyptian wanna date a german... mixing is good don't take me wrong! but how to start to meet the possible candidate? The problem is,  each one have their own way of : "Hey! haaaaave you met Ted???as Barney in "how I met your mother" show used to hook Ted with a girl.

Approaching # 1
Good old Facebook in "others" inbox

Approaching # 2
Via Whatsapp... yeah! How they get your number in  first place? it is a mistery., sometimes I think they just randomly dial a number and if the profile pic results to be a lady, they go ahead with  a: "Hey sexy! how are u?" and if you don't reply he goes: "Why you don't answer? "  any normal guy will understand after 1 or 2 days of cero replies that the lady is not interested...But hope dies last isn't?

Approaching # 3
Being a western woman with an "open mentality" is not always so good in conservative countries, some guys literally think you will take the chance to be with any male specimen, cause hey! you are western...yeahhh decency is a little bit distracted in that part of the world (or so they think).

Approaching # 4
Being a western single lady as I already said, isn't easy, but being also a Belly dancer is a plus! the misconception and misinformation of the profession lead guys (thankfully not all) to think we are some sort of libertines and are available for nightstands.
The first time I arrive to UAE, I went to a supermarket and the cashier noticed I bought many belly dance DVD's, he asked why I was buying them, so me, proudly ( as I've been doing it in my natal Mexico) said:"Cause I'm a belly dancer" his immediate response was:
"ohh can I have your number? ".

Approaching # 5
After 10 years in gulf countries I noticed there's 2 worlds: The western world, which is the people you make friends with, people from your  country and other countries with more or less same view in life as you., you will find some oriental and asian people as well, normally will be people who travel a lot or had studied abroad their native countries.
And then there's the arabic world: shisha places, restaurants with belly dancers and  arabic singers, arabian nightclubs and some bars that are frequented by arabian people.

In the first world, is more likely you will find someone to date, however most of the single people come to the gulf for a short period of time due to work, so they don't wanna be involve in a serious relationship  for 1 or 2 months and then comeback to their countries (although there's exceptions).

In the second world, there's many so called " business ladies"and the sad part is, some guys with very poor social skills will pop a question like: "¿How much?" which is totally offensive for any woman... the reply will be normally to ignore the poor fellow.
So with this premise, to make yourself respect among arabic people is not something to take lightly, and when you gain your respect and show you're a person of good moral values then you will be able to date.


As I said: To date in gulf countries is certainly an art.....



  

The notion of "Tarab"

From the book: "La cultura de los árabes" (The arabian culture) 
Author: Ikram Antaki 1988
Summary and translation by: Amar Lammar


The orchestra is not an arab tradition, but is the concept to be used to understand the arab music as
this exist to support the major art: The word.The concepts of "music" and "song" were not enough.
Then born a new word that doesn't have translation in any other language TARAB.
Tarab as in the dictionary: Rapture, ecstasy, pleasure of the senses.The whole concept is the absolute pleasure that only the melody can give you.

There's no tarab if the voice isn't beautiful, but also is not tarab if the poem sung is not beautiful as well and sung masterfully in a classical arabic and not in a popular arabic dialect.

To be consider beautiful, a voice must be powerful. Then such a clear voice as the one from the singer Fairuz will be consider by the experts of classical arabic music as a "cat's meow" while a voice that was able to last with out fault for half century, like Um Khaltoum voice, gets around it the unanimously recognition.

Um Khaltoum was known as "The lady of the arabian song" and "The star of the east", she was one of the most venerated singers, was the singer of King Faruk and then the favourite of Nasser and one of the most beloved of "Al Wafd" party.

Some journalists called her: "The singer of the hachachin" cause it's been said that she used to inhale
drugs on the huge handkerchief she wore in her recitals in order to sing for over two hours non stop.
 Do not like of Um Khaltoum was symbol of anti-arab or dislike arabs.

The first belly dancer to perform on a Um Khalthoum song was Sohair Zaki, it was a big challenge but the president Mohamed Anwar named her : "the Um Khalthom of the dance".



 

Your style, my style.....

                              

                             

The word style comes form the latin "Stilus" and it's use in many ways  for diverse occasions; life, fashion, artistic eras, elegance or distiction among others.

In the dance scenery there are many styles, from the ancient ritual dances, to the refinement of Ballet, or the folkloric dances of each country which is a picture in motion of their legacy to the world, it represents the traditions of each culture in this planet, that's why dance is so important! .Each type of dance it's been evolving with time and their performers have found different paths to enrich it and even create a new style or tendency into the dance itself.

Belly dance hasn't left behind in this modern world....the dancing style of the actual performers is not as it used to be,. in this globalized society, BD became very popular in all countries, each country add some special flavour to the raqs sharki, I'm quite sure that nowadays we are more non-arab dancers than arabic origin belly dancers, this is the reason why now we can see such big western influence into belly dance.

                    

                              (On the top, Dina one of the most imitated belly dancers on the world)

However as technology advance and comunicate from one country to the other far away from yours it's fair easy nowadays, tools like youtube, bellydancers.tv, vimeo or facebook are our main plataform to expose our work and get work, but also is an endless source of ideas and sometimes clones.

                                        
                                     
Which are the boundaries to take inspiration of another fellow dancer? Is it right that you admire so much a dancer that you copy all her style???. I have always believed that even you may be an exact copy of your idol, each one is unique and bring into the belly dance something fresh, in my country there's a saying: "Who hit first, hit twice" meaning that the person who made something first than anyone else will have a high impact than a person who made it again later on., this may be true, but what happens when you do it in another place where it's a novelty? Will you show it up as yours or would you inform your audience this is a representation of someone else's work??...

I pop this questions to dancers around the world, to share our opinions, to make our belly dance community much more genuine...the biggest challenge for a BD teacher is not only to give technique of movements and theory but to create a new generation of dancers that are able to use this knowledge and add their personal charisma to the dance, and this, is the most dificult thing to achieve, cause it's much more easy to click on youtube than sit in an empty space thinking about a step not yet created.

Doors of Tunis

Always traveling, always moving from one contract to another, but always on gulf countries, this is my first contact with Tunis and it's amazing culture...although their past is so extense  as the old port of Carthage and even more vestiges of a civilization destroyed by the powerful Rome.I wanna base this post on something much more simple; the daily living on the streets of Tunis, and something even simplier the amazing doors that makes from cities like Sidi Bou Said ( which means: The gentlenman who...) a "must" attraction for tourists.

Searching information here and there I found out that the so traditional blue color on the doors, is not so old as the yellow, green,white or red.

Each color represents a dynasty that pass through Tunis and leave their stamp on the country.

White doors: Is the color of the Hafsid army (1228-1574), Aghlabids

Green doors: From the Fatimids, is believed the green represent the color of the paradise

Red: Sanhajids
Yellow: In the Holy muslim book, the occre yellow is the predilect color by Allah (Or so I found)

The decoration on the doors "Hilia" which means jewel are made with strong pins in many sizes, from small to long ones, the geometrical figures made on the doors are name Tanit which is the old Goddess of fertility in the ancient Carthage.Other figures made as decoration on the doors, are Fatima hands (which is believe it keeps away the "evil eye" ) crosses, birds and others that reflects the cristian past of Tunis.

There's another type of doors which have another small door on it's down right side, this small door is named: Khoukha, and was invented by the spanish princess whom was wife of Abdul Aziz Ibn Mousa Ibn Noussair (Governor of Andalucía and Africa), this small door was created so their muslim subjects bow infront of his monarch.

The blue color is a tunisian symbol of good luck and prosperity.... but it wasn't so popular until 1920 when Baron Rodolphe d' Erlanger a musicologist born in Paris but totally in love with arabian culture and it's music, made a law in Sidi Bou Said city ordering to all it's habitants to paint their houses white and doors,windows and smithy in blue.

Baron Rodolphe d' Erlanger was a french painter and as I said before musicologist, he specialized in arabian music.He study in Paris and London and wrote 6 vol. of a work called: "La musique arabe" (1930).In 1932 he help to organize the "congress of arabic music in Cairo", this idea was suggested to the king Fuad I from Egypt,and  even he was so ill, he manage to send a tunisian ensamble to the congress,. He passed away shortly after.
His palace is in Sidi Bou Said "Nejma Ezzohara" is the name of the house, nowadays is the
"Centre des musiques arabes et méditerranéennes"

He helps a musical genre called "Ma'luf" originative from Lybian, Algeria and tunis to revive by the 1920's ....

You speak spanish?... you then may wanna check out his outstanding work on this link:

http://www.sinfoniavirtual.com/libros/021_rodolphe.pdf

 

Belly dancer of theater vs restaurant performer

This is an old post I did on my cultural blog in spanish (www.raqsamar.blogspot.ae), the subject is simple: "The belly dancer and her work in theater and in a restaurant and also to talk about the way we look ourselves as performers".
So, I did try to translate at best of my abilities, this article was big success among my collegues in Mexico and beyond (spanish speakers) so I wanted to share it with english speakers; to get your opinion and share points of view.

 *BD=belly dancer

A topic that cause lots of controversy among dancers., -If the restaurant BD* does whatever or, if the BD of theater looks too much mechanical,even some girls said : "Any dancer can perform in a restaurant" while the BD in restaurants says : "Girls that dance in theater aren't able to improvise"etc, etc,etc...

¿Why we attack to each other?

Each BD who call herself pro, pass through the phase of learning,later the phase of practice (dance in theaters, social events and other non paid shows),after you will get the phase of specialization in whatever style you like more (after experiment dance in both theater and Restaurant) then you will decide which place is better for you, but what happen? some theater BDs begin to feel that "Superiority"of technique and choreo., while the restaurant BDs believe to have that charisma and freedom that lack in the first ones.

¡The truth!

To dance in theater as in restaurant are both rewarding experiences, each one fills you up as an artist but in different way. I hope you girls feel identified with the next!!

Theater

*I love the big space, the powerful lights that make my costumes look stunning!, I love to step a theater when I want to make an special performance with some proops I usually cannot do in close spaces, or when I want to dance into a strange or fusion song, also when I dance with my students.


Restaurant

Here I should clarify "Is not the same to perform for an arab audience than for a audience non arab"
a non arab public expect the same as in theater but in a very small space. The arab public expect to be entertain, and for that you must let yourself go by the mood of the night, by the music and it's words.
Ok, with this been said., To dance in restaurant is equal to get the skill of improvisation, to be ready for whatever happens during your show either good or bad, to have a big musical repertoire and choose the music with no time to waist.also a good connection with the audience is INDISPENSABLE!.


The pros and cons (in my opinion)

Theater

*the freedom to make your show as you wish.
*You will have opportunity of rehersals which minimize the margin of error
*it's a purely artistic expression
*It give you the chance to coexist and collaborate with your fellow dancers
*It gives you a good CV (especially if it is an important theater)
*It expose your work to people with certain knowledge on the belly dance and it's styles
VS
*To prepare a show is really HARD work (it can take months to prepare a more or less decent show)
*It should be that the mistakes are less, but when error exist is much more evident.
*It take lots of hours and hard work,lots of costumes made and ¿payment? sometimes very less or even non existent!


Restaurant

*It gives you the power of improvisation and even interact with your audience.
*To dance in a regular basis enlarge your arabian music repertoire better than dance sometimes.
*It is a job, one you like and they pay you for it !
*it gives you good experience to be ready when you have to dance anywhere feel more selfconfident
*You have much more places where to perform
*It gives you a good CV
VS
 *Sometimes your show transform in a: "lets go people clap....yeahhhh !!! " cheerleader than a dancer
*Like any other job in the world, sometimes it can turn routine
*To expose your art infront of an open audience  (meaning people who knows what belly dance is
  and people who do not) sometimes leads to non ethical propousals.
*it is a job, so it does not matter if you are sick, if you have no mood to smile today or if your period
  arrived 1 week before...the show must go on!

What normally happens is.... 

*The majority of the first clan will dance in restaurant  as a good way to make a living.
The dancers that have few opportunities to dance in a huge stage will dance in theater to feel "sublime artist".
The ones like me who have the chance to dance in both, I tell you: - Dance, enjoy, earn money if posible and do not criticize the opposite side cause even to smile is hard work!

it's safari time !!!

Yes.... ladies and gentleman, it's safari time!!!

I't`s amazing how many vids of belly dancers in safaris are on youtube., safari is something fun to
do, you can interact with people, invite them to dance even teach them little bit...the whole point of
safari is to make your audience HAPPY!!.

Most of the people who goes safari in middle east are tourists, they come in here, and after go shopping, go to the top of burj khalifa and visit the main nightclubs in town., they have this overwhelming feeling to get the touch of the real arab experience, to dress up with ghandoora and abaya , sit in  the dunes of the amazing arab desert, smoke sheesha and listen to authentic arabian tunes.

Sooo our tourist friends call some well known safaris companies in UAE and get a package that can offer this.. sure by the end of the evening the belly dancer or dancers will be included!

Now, I think more or less you got the idea of the safari for the people, you come,eat,drink tea, smoke sheesha, ride camels and by nightfall will see belly dance show.. make lots of pics and film a long video of the "show"..  by the end of your holidays you come home and post this vid on youtube.


Now, the second part, once the video is online there's 100's of bad comments, people (most of them dancers) who make remarks to this "very bad dancer" !!
Sure not each one of them is great, but in their favor, and as the experience I got dancing in safaris as well... I can tell you this.

*You  cannot expect a belly dancer do the same as she is in a theater
*Most of the time, the floor is sand which is cover by carpets, so the floor is not great for moving
*people wanna be part of the show and make pics, ENJOY!!! you cannot expect they are serious and clap at the end, think of it as a party!

*dancing expose to outside weather as heat, wind or cold in winter can also affect the performance!
*If you are so used to dance with high heels, you will find little bit hard to dance bare foot again.


To dance in safari as I said is super fun, but probably not the best place to record a show...
if you cross into a safari belly dance video on youtube, think before posting your opinion, that, safaris aren't made for the "performace of the year" but for the "happy dancing time of the year"

You will watch the video from another angle...!!!
AIWA!!!!

The top 10 products to keep the "look"

My top 10 beauty products to keep "the look" on, and after stage..

1.Eyeshadow primer potion by Urban Decay
It's a powerful weapon in matters to keep the shades and exact blending.. use before apply your eyeshadow.. can buy in Sephora stores.

2.All nighter by Urban Decay
THE BEST AMONG ALL SPRAYS FOR MAKE UP KEEPING... you can get it in sephora store...
about $30.- (really worth it ! )

3.Safety pins
small, cheap and indispensable !!! to keep the dress in good position.. NEVER GO OUT  TO A SHOW WITHOUT THEM!!

4.Make up spray from Sally Hansen for legs, expensive but worth the value
problems with varicose veins? or  maybe bruises from sport? cover it up! in my own experience..using it every single day it last a month!! even if you have perfect legs... really make them look stunning!!!


5.Waterproof converter by Make up forever... it's really forever!!!!
I have some eyeshadows so nice, but so weak when you put it on.. the color seems to fade... my answer was... waterproof converter, it's a liquid to apply straight on the pincel to apply the color, it will stay with you and the intensity and luminosity it's amazing!!

6.Kryolan liquid eyeliner tablet, used with pincel and waterproof gel bottle.
Kryolan is a brand that was created specially for theater, so the product is really high quality!! this tablet will last till you make 90 years! honestly is long lasting and the price for the quantity of product is fare... the only thing that finish often (depending how much you use) is the gel.This one you apply 1 or 2 drops into the tablet and mix with the pincel as if you were a painter apply a fine line in your eyes...you will love it!

7.Foundation HD make up forever, or kryolan foundation medium-full coverage
nothing more to say... it's a good brand, the foundation is really light yet covers at perfection..little expensive.

8.foundation by Maxfactor 2 in 1 (foundation+serum) or Maybelline 24hrs.. it's great but lack of more tones for different types of skin..you may be lucky ;-D I wasn't :-(
in crisis time, sometimes we cannot afford to pay high prices in make up or stuff... this two options above are great in foundations, cheap and worthy... if your skin is oily..try to apply into clean (no creams or primers) skin,as after 4 dances when you clean your sweat, the foundation will go out as well.

9.The push ups inside the belly dance bra… always stitch them to your bra, never put them inside "just for today show" you'll be at the constant risk that it goes out in the middle of the performance
sure you don't wanna show more than necessary right??

10.Lorea`l hair spray.. the last but no least.. put a bit on your comb and pass it through all your hair as a final touch, this is cause sometimes (some type of hair) the electricity of the hair in touch with the veil  will lift it up and the veil will stuck on you. great to keep the liss hair down, and to make curls and keep them for at least  4 songs...

The easy job of belly dancing...

I have no idea if all of you (belly dance collegues) will feel identify with this post, for the girls outside Middle east let me explain more or less the rutine for a working belly dancer in here.
You work for a Hotel who gives you house and food, and of course your salary at end of the month,so is a work like other job in the world, the main point in here is that your performance time daily is
1hour total....So here it comes the main topic of this post.

Many people consider "easy money" what we are doing here, people say things such as: -"Wow, 1 hr only??,uff I whish I work only that" or "You got it easy, just go inside shake your ass,smile and halas (arabic expresion that means that's it)"- other people even say stuff like: -" You got to sleep whole day and then 1 hour work and can go party".

It's silly to say I have "the hardest job of all" sure we don't, but besides the glamour and the 1 hour performance, is so much more...

The work of a belly dancer starts since you prepare for the show, make up,warm up your body, there's no "sick leave", there's  no tired, no mood or pain, illness,etc. Belly dancer always sould be there.
I'ts difficult sometimes to dance for people when they are not involve on your show, or when in the whole restaurant is only 2 persons.You have to deal with all sort of people, from the staff to the band,
when you start to feel confortable in the place..Pum! time to pack again and go to new place.

Now.. the duration of the show itself; let me ask you something ¿How do you feel after 1 hour of strong workout in the gym? tired isn't it? well...it's same story with daily performances...people think we are made of plastic. to this workout, we must add the fact that perform in a show increase your adrenaline even after the show you feel entusiastic, this feeling goes after few hours, which is not letting you sleep in normal times.
It's so hard to put it in words..but to dance  and give your WHOLE body,technic, mind,heart and soul in the stage every single night is tired and worthy to be paid for.

From music and other stuff...

Being professional belly dancer and even non professional, always put me in certain kind of troubles while working with recorded music.
You see; normally I perform with live band, so for me it's amazing the idea of go inside the stage and change the course of the show as I check how the audience response to the music I'm choosing in the very same time, I guess, I'm use to work with whatever comes that night, "power of improvisation" is the key for a succesful show in middle east.

 Now... when you must perform with recorded music is a totally different story! There's no space or
few space for improvisation, mostly it's planned step by step ( know some girls even  the smiles, are planned as well). I do enjoy both for different reasons...certain style of music it's very hard for an oriental band to play, but some songs that are amazing live, in cd are just lame.

I don't know if you ever feel this but sometimes, when I choose the music I will use for a show in CD
I have problems choosing the "right" ones, even at the end when CD is done and I'm on my way to
work  I still have my doubts.Then the other part, you have an idea of what you want to do with that music and if you have some crazy stuff to introduce into the rutine,. you spect to have a positive  response from the audiences but how to be sure... it is as sure as to "flip a coin" and hope it come heads.
Of course there are some "tips" that can help you, but even that's not warranty of success.

*To know the place where you will perform.
*To know the nationality of the public, good to choose type of music.
* What they spect from you.
*The "surprise element"

Sometimes comes bad, but other days you just rock it! and I live for those days!! We all live for those days, to practice and practice and hope at the end  people identify with your performance!!!!

Pack your bags and go !!!

To be a belly dancer who works from country to country it's great!! all time traveling, meeting new people, steping new stages, dancing with diferent bands...all the glamour that goes with a belly dance show,. you know, the amazing dresses full of beads and shiny cristals are some of the first things that, when we see belly dance by first time, catch our attention.

But...

The transporting part is a very difficult one...I remember when I first start to travel (around year 2003)
airlines like "airfrance" & others  gave you 2 bags of 32kg. A luxury which is nowadays only affordable for class premier in the planes. The transporting of belly dance "bedlas" are each time more and more hard..of course to go and do a single show and comeback it's not a problem, but when you
realize that have to take clothes for a whole year it's a different story.
The dresses + normal clothes, shoes, accesories, mac, souvenirs for the friends and even more...
the 23kg bag permited is never enough..
Another down side it's that really is soooo hard to move around when you have so much luggage..
Last month when I got out of Mexico there was this guy flying to NL. as well... I didn't pay much Attention till the employees of the airline were rumoring about him and that he payed over 1,000usd
So, me curious I ask about this, they told me he had 7 bags with him....And I assume he wasn't dancer hahahahaha....

So anyway... I think part of why designers like "Eman Zaki" and "Hicham Hossman" in Egypt make
belly dance dresses with more cristals and less embroidery it's in order to be lightly travel trough the world.